艾伦脱口秀第84期:欲火焚身

 　　It's the best way I can describe it.It's on tonight. And if you haven't been watching, 这是我能想到的最贴切的形容了 今晚就会播 如果你还没看过

　　And you're like, "I can't watch it now,Because I didn't watch in the beginning." 别说"我现在没法看 因为我没从头开始看"之类的

　　I'll catch you up on everything that happened so far. 我能告诉你目前为止节目中都发生了些什么

　　Chris is dead sexy.His smile, oh,It's like panty dropper. 克里斯性感爆了 他的微笑简直是 让人欲火焚身

　　I want to hang it up for you today.I'm in Illinois actually. so pretty close to you. 为了你 我今天要戴着这个 我在伊利诺斯州 跟你很近耶

　　Oh my goodness. Okay.Bring on the weirdoes.I remmed my head into the brick wall. 天啊 什么稀奇古怪的人都来了 我都抓狂得撞墙了

　　Can I ask you a quick question? - Absolutely. 能问个小问题吗  -当然

　　Do you inseminate hogs¹?Do you believe in aliens? 你捐精子吗 你相信有外星人吗

　　And we see like a body come in And we were screaming and it's Chris. 我们看见了一个人影 然后就各种乱叫 结果发现是克里斯

　　Don't be weirded out.I'm only kind of a stalker.Don't use that. 别太吃惊 我只是个跟踪者 别把这个播出去

　　When Ashley told me that she was a virgin², 当阿什利告诉我她是个处女的时候

　　I was like Seriously?Like- I'm so jealous. 我就想 真的假的 我好嫉妒啊

　　Like, I can't even use that, cause I have a kid. 因为我孩子 我不能用处女这个词

　　She was drunk tonight. She was drunk yesterday. 她昨天就喝得烂醉 今天晚上又醉了

　　She was drunk the day before. She's gonna be drunk tomorrow. 她前天也是一样 她明天肯定还会去买醉

　　I don't know how. I don't know.Oh my god. 我真的不知道该怎么办 我的天啊

1 hogs   

n.（尤指喂肥供食用的）猪( hog的名词复数 )；（供食用的）阉公猪；彻底地做某事；自私的或贪婪的人

参考例句：

• 'sounds like -- like hogs grunting. “像——像是猪发出的声音。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险
• I hate the way he hogs down his food. 我讨厌他那副狼吞虎咽的吃相。 来自辞典例句

2 virgin   

n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的

参考例句：

• Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗？
• There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。