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Superstition¹ was with me at that moment, but it was not yet her hour for complete victory.

这时候我相信起迷信来了，但并没有到了完全听凭摆布的程度。

My blood was still warm; the mood of the revolted slave was still bracing² me with its bitter vigour³.

我依然热血沸腾，反叛的奴隶那种苦涩情绪依然激励着我。

I had to stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought before I quailed⁴ to the dismal⁵ present.

往事如潮、在我脑海中奔涌，如果我不加以遏制，我就不会对阴暗的现实屈服。

All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference⁶, all his mother's aversion,

约翰·里德的专横霸道、他姐妹的高傲冷漠、他母亲的厌恶、

all the servants' partiality, turned up in my disturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid⁷ well.

仆人们的偏心，像一口混沌的水井中黑色的沉淀物，一古脑儿泛起在我烦恼不安的心头。

Why was I always suffering, always browbeaten⁸, always accused, for ever condemned⁹?

为什么我总是受苦，总是遭人白眼，总是让人告状，永远受到责备呢？

Why could I never please?

为什么我永远不能讨人喜欢？

Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?

为什么我尽力博取欢心，却依然无济于事呢？

Eliza, who, was headstrong and selfish, was respected.

伊丽莎自私任性，却受到尊敬。

Georgiana, who had a spoiled temper, a very acrid¹⁰ spite, a captious¹¹ and insolent¹² carriage, was universally indulged.

治亚娜好使性子，心肠又毒，而且强词夺理目空一切，偏偏得到所有人的纵容。

Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls, seemed to give delight to all who, looked at her, and to purchase indemnity¹³ for every fault.

她的美貌，她红润的面颊，金色的卷发，使得她人见人爱，一俊便可遮百丑。

John no one thwarted¹⁴, much less punished.

至于约翰，没有人同他顶撞。

Though he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks, set the dogs at the sheep,

虽然他什么坏事都干：捻断鸽子的头颈，弄死小孔雀，放狗去咬羊，

stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit, and broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory¹⁵.

采摘温室中的葡萄，掐断暖房上等花木的嫩芽。

He called his mother 'old girl,' too

有时还叫他母亲“老姑娘”.

sometimes reviled¹⁶ her for her dark skin, similar to his own, bluntly disregarded her wishes;

又因为她皮肤黝黑像他自己而破口大骂。他蛮横地与母亲作对，

not unfrequently tore and spoiled her silk attire¹⁷, and he was still 'her own darling.'

经常撕毁她的丝绸服装，而他却依然是“她的宝贝蛋”。

I dared commit no fault.

而我不敢有丝毫闪失。

I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty and tiresome¹⁸, sullen¹⁹ and sneaking²⁰, from morning to noon, and from noon to night.

干什么都全力以赴，人家还是骂我淘气鬼，讨厌坯，骂我阴丝丝，贼溜溜，从早上骂到下午，从下午骂到晚上。

My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received.

我因为挨了打、跌了交，头依然疼痛，依然流着血。

No one had reproved John for wantonly striking me.

约翰肆无忌惮地打我，却不受责备。

And because I had turned against him to avert²¹ farther irrational²² violence, I was loaded with general opprobrium²³.

而我不过为了免遭进一步无理殴打，反抗了一下，便成了众矢之的。

'Unjust! - unjust!' said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus²⁴ into precocious²⁵ though transitory power.

不公呵，不公！”我的理智呼喊着。在痛苦的刺激下我的理智变得早熟，化作了一种短暂的力量。

And Resolve, equally wrought²⁶ up, instigated²⁷ some strange expedient²⁸ to achieve escape from insupportable oppression-as running away,

决心也同样鼓动起来，激发我去采取某种奇怪的手段，来摆脱难以忍受的压迫，譬如逃跑，

or, if that could not be effected, never eating or drinking more, and letting myself die.

要是不能奏效，那就不吃不喝，活活饿死。

What a consternation²⁹ of soul was mine that dreary³⁰ afternoon!

那个阴沉的下午，我心里多么惶恐不安！

How all my brain was in tumult³¹, and all my heart in insurrection!

我的整个脑袋如一团乱麻，我的整颗心在反抗！

Yet in what darkness, what dense³² ignorance, was the mental battle fought!

然而那场内心斗争又显得多么茫然，多么无知啊！

I could not answer the ceaseless inward question- why I thus suffered.

我无法回答心底那永无休止的问题-为什么我要如此受苦。

Now, at the distance of- I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.

此刻，在相隔-我不说多少年以后，我看清楚了。